Tag Archives: don’t judge

Invisible DisAbilities

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Invisible DisAbilities

In general, the term disAbility is often used to describe an ongoing physical challenge. This could be a bump in life that can be well managed or a mountain that creates serious changes and loss. Either way, this term should not be used to describe a person as weaker or lesser than anyone else. Every person has a purpose, special uniqueness and value, no matter what hurdles they may face.

In addition, just because a person has a disAbility, does not mean they are disAbled. Many living with these challenges are still fully active in their work, families, sports or hobbies. Some with disAbilities are able to work full or part time, but struggle to get through their day, with little or no energy for other things. Others are unable to maintain gainful or substantial employment due to their disAbility, have trouble with daily living activities and/or need assistance with their care.

According to the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 (ADA) an individual with a disAbility is a person who: Has a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more major life activities; has a record of such an impairment; or is regarded as having such an impairment (Disability Discrimination).

Furthermore, “A person is considered to have a disability if he or she has difficulty performing certain functions (seeing, hearing, talking, walking, climbing stairs and lifting and carrying), or has difficulty performing activities of daily living, or has difficulty with certain social roles (doing school work for children, working at a job and around the house for adults)” (Disabilities Affect One-Fifth of All Americans).

Often people think the term, disAbility, only refers to people using a wheelchair or walker. On the contrary,  the 1994-1995 Survey of Income and Program Participation (SIPP) found that 26 million Americans (almost 1 in 10) were considered to have a severe disAbility, while only 1.8 million used a wheelchair and 5.2 million used a cane, crutches or walker (Americans with Disabilities 94-95). In other words, 74% of Americans who live with a severe disAbility do not use such devices. Therefore, a disAbility cannot be determined solely on whether or not a person uses assistive equipment.

The term invisible disAbilities refers to symptoms such as debilitating pain, fatigue, dizziness, cognitive dysfunctions, brain injuries, learning differences and mental health disorders, as well as hearing and vision impairments.  These are not always obvious to the onlooker, but can sometimes or always limit daily activities, range from mild challenges to severe limitations and vary from person to person.

Also, someone who has a visible impairment or uses an assistive device such as a wheelchair, walker or cane can also have invisible disAbilities. For example, whether or not a person utilizes an assistive device, if they are debilitated by such symptoms as described above, they live with invisible disAbilities.

Unfortunately, people often judge others by what they see and often conclude a person can or cannot do something by the way they look. This can be equally frustrating for those who may appear unable, but are perfectly capable, as well as those who appear able, but are not.

The bottom line is that everyone with a disAbility is different, with varying challenges and needs, as well as abilities and attributes.  Thus, we all should learn to listen with our ears, instead of judging with our eyes.

#22KILL: Battle Buddy

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Become a Veterans’ Advocate and “Battle Buddy”
You do not have to be a trained professional to help someone in need. You don’t have to be a veteran to empathize with their situation. People in a crisis sometimes just need someone to talk to because they feel alone and unheard by those who are closest to them.  They may feel too ashamed to call out for help from their friends and family and can benefit from speaking to an anonymous individual.  By not feeling judged, they can feel more comfortable about opening up and and talking about their situation.

Criteria:

  • Have a genuine love and respect for veterans and all active military members. You do not have to be a veteran.
  • Have a cell phone, and be willing to take calls/texts at any time from a veteran wanting to talk

Roles/Responsibilities:
As a Battle Buddy, you will have a profile listed on www.22kill.com’s  public directory, and veterans in crisis will be able to find you and call you if they want to talk. Your commitment is to simply be someone who cares and to listen if a veteran ever calls. That’s it. Don’t judge; don’t push. Just having someone to talk to who genuinely cares and will listen can make a substantial difference. If you do feel there is a crisis, you can call 911 or have someone else call.

 If you are not comfortable with being a Battle Buddy there are other ways you can help as a Veterans’ Advocate. We encourage you to join Team #22KILL in connecting and growing the veteran support system. Become a volunteer for their events and community projects, and share their page with your network of friends, family, and every veteran you know.

Sign up and become a Battle Buddy today!
Please Visit www.22kill.com for more information

Communication Awareness

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The first step to respectfully communicate with a person with a disAbility is simply by making an effort. There’s no absolute formula for compassion, but putting forth the effort — any effort, really — goes miles.

Recognize there are trigger words that often carry a deep connotation of disrespect and disregard for a magnitude of communities. Titles like “cripple,” “retard,” “slow” and “vegetable” carry vulgar consequence, but conversations surrounding people who have disAbilities deserve a deeper level of understanding than simply avoiding a handful of hurtful words.

These people are humans, not disAbilities.

Build, Don’t Box
Common tongue often highlights a person’s disAbilities like the elephant in the room. A more active approach is to acknowledge and applaud one’s abilities. Focus on the person, not the disAbility. And, just like any of us, we each have our challenges but we don’t go around telling people we “suffer from” one thing or the other. This language would steal any sort of confidence that we might overcome our daily hurdles.

Furthermore, it’s crucial to recognize individuals. For example: Jane is Jane/John is John. S/He is not one of “the handicapped,” “the paraplegics” or any other all-inclusive term. S/He is one, able individual who has paraplegia. The condition does not define her/him, and though s/he may be proud and affiliated with communities who engage paraplegia, it’s best to allow s/he the opportunity to define those relations.

Never Stop Learning
Simply put: Don’t be afraid to ask. If you’re concerned you don’t know how to interact with people with disAbilities, voicing your innocent naivety may be the wisest approach. Instead of shying away from the conversation and further alienating that person, seek out a respectful opportunity to ask about his or her story.